Sunday, December 8, 2019

Things I Regret

brown wooden house in the middle of mountain

Hello guys. What's up? So in this post, I would like to share my regrets about what I have been done for the 25 years of my life. And I do hope when I shared this, I will not going to repeat the same mistakes anymore. 

#1 Caring too much about what others think

Indeed. I over-carried about what my friends (not so friends) talk about me while I supposed to didn't give any s*** about anything they said. Why on earth I need to be worried and think too much about what people might say about me, my life and everything that is related to me? I shouldn't care, or even think about it. Let them speak. They have their own opinions. So do I. I am not gonna be affected by them. Let them speak! When they tired, they'll stop. And they did. They stopped, So why am I so dumb by caring too much about what others think?

#2 Not showing the real feeling to the people I love

I was (not was; still am) a quite rough person. I didn't show my real feelings when I am happy or sad. I showed my real truest feeling when I am angry. Like I cursed (a lot!) and mumbling bout the things that I am mad about. But after that, I will straight away forget about anything I said. And sometimes it hurts my love ones feeling. I didn't realized with what I said and it is so annoying 'cause at that point, I am the one who will look bad. That was the time when I am angry but whenever I felt happy and I know that I have to show a lil bit of love and affection to the person I love, I didn't fully let it out. I didn't show the love that I felt for that person vividly. And that is other things that regret about.

#3 Not following my passion

I regret it when I was not following my passion. But I have to 'redha' with the path I chose that I make it till today. But yeah at some points, when I am alone. I will always think: (kenapalah aku pilih jalan ni?) (kenapalah aku tak buat itu/ini dulu?) (kalau tak.. mesti aku dah....) I am pretty sure that everyone have this thoughts. Well. Kita sama. Even now, I still termenung dan terpikiaq awatlah aku jadi lagu ni... Tapi tulah, nak buat cemana. Ni jalan aku pilih. Kita bukan pelakon yang jadi boneka Allah. Kita yang pilih jalan hidup kita. bukan sesiapa. Not even your own mother. You chose your own journey.

And last but not least for the things that I regret the most are:

#4 Tak redha dan tak ikhlas

Yeap. I live for 25 years. And I failed to became a redha and ikhlas hamba that I should be. That I supposed to be. Siapa aku nak tanya kerja Tuhan? Who the F I am to questioned what has Allah plan for you. Yes you might. You might have plan for this and that and this and stuffs. But remember, Allah's planning is the best. He knows what's good and bad for you. He knows pengakhiran kita. But still kita bukan boneka yang jadi pelakon Allah. Kita ada pilihan kita, dan kita kena redha. Kita kena ikhlas. If you ask me: I do. I do regret when I was not following my passion. I supposed to ambik master, jadi lecturer, duduk kat Kolumpo tapi end up? Habis degree, balik kampung ambik GiatMARA belajar menjahit. DAN, apa salahnya? Apa salahnya aku balik kampung, belajar menjahit? Takde salah! Sikit pun tak salah! So why should I regret for not following my passion? Allah dah atur cantik dah. Kat sini kita kena terima qada' dan qadar yang Allah dah tetapkan. Terima, redha, dan ikhlas. You will be happy and grateful.

So, those are the things that I regret. I hope. InsyaAllah (doakan aku). I hope. I hope. I hope. Aku tak buat lagi penyesalan yang aku buat sebelum ni. InsyaAllah aamiinnnn. 

Love, 
Eyja.

1 comment

  1. Sama lah kita. I thought I am lonely. People keep judging me. But its only my overthinking. I also feel the same like no.1. Reading this give me courage and thought that everyone is facing the same struggle. Not only me struggle inside.I really inspired by this post. Thank you for talk about life and reality. I am gonna focus for myself more in 2020. Thanks for the words. #selflove

    ReplyDelete


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