brown wooden house in the middle of mountain

Hello guys. What's up? So in this post, I would like to share my regrets about what I have been done for the 25 years of my life. And I do hope when I shared this, I will not going to repeat the same mistakes anymore. 

#1 Caring too much about what others think

Indeed. I over-carried about what my friends (not so friends) talk about me while I supposed to didn't give any s*** about anything they said. Why on earth I need to be worried and think too much about what people might say about me, my life and everything that is related to me? I shouldn't care, or even think about it. Let them speak. They have their own opinions. So do I. I am not gonna be affected by them. Let them speak! When they tired, they'll stop. And they did. They stopped, So why am I so dumb by caring too much about what others think?

#2 Not showing the real feeling to the people I love

I was (not was; still am) a quite rough person. I didn't show my real feelings when I am happy or sad. I showed my real truest feeling when I am angry. Like I cursed (a lot!) and mumbling bout the things that I am mad about. But after that, I will straight away forget about anything I said. And sometimes it hurts my love ones feeling. I didn't realized with what I said and it is so annoying 'cause at that point, I am the one who will look bad. That was the time when I am angry but whenever I felt happy and I know that I have to show a lil bit of love and affection to the person I love, I didn't fully let it out. I didn't show the love that I felt for that person vividly. And that is other things that regret about.

#3 Not following my passion

I regret it when I was not following my passion. But I have to 'redha' with the path I chose that I make it till today. But yeah at some points, when I am alone. I will always think: (kenapalah aku pilih jalan ni?) (kenapalah aku tak buat itu/ini dulu?) (kalau tak.. mesti aku dah....) I am pretty sure that everyone have this thoughts. Well. Kita sama. Even now, I still termenung dan terpikiaq awatlah aku jadi lagu ni... Tapi tulah, nak buat cemana. Ni jalan aku pilih. Kita bukan pelakon yang jadi boneka Allah. Kita yang pilih jalan hidup kita. bukan sesiapa. Not even your own mother. You chose your own journey.

And last but not least for the things that I regret the most are:

#4 Tak redha dan tak ikhlas

Yeap. I live for 25 years. And I failed to became a redha and ikhlas hamba that I should be. That I supposed to be. Siapa aku nak tanya kerja Tuhan? Who the F I am to questioned what has Allah plan for you. Yes you might. You might have plan for this and that and this and stuffs. But remember, Allah's planning is the best. He knows what's good and bad for you. He knows pengakhiran kita. But still kita bukan boneka yang jadi pelakon Allah. Kita ada pilihan kita, dan kita kena redha. Kita kena ikhlas. If you ask me: I do. I do regret when I was not following my passion. I supposed to ambik master, jadi lecturer, duduk kat Kolumpo tapi end up? Habis degree, balik kampung ambik GiatMARA belajar menjahit. DAN, apa salahnya? Apa salahnya aku balik kampung, belajar menjahit? Takde salah! Sikit pun tak salah! So why should I regret for not following my passion? Allah dah atur cantik dah. Kat sini kita kena terima qada' dan qadar yang Allah dah tetapkan. Terima, redha, dan ikhlas. You will be happy and grateful.

So, those are the things that I regret. I hope. InsyaAllah (doakan aku). I hope. I hope. I hope. Aku tak buat lagi penyesalan yang aku buat sebelum ni. InsyaAllah aamiinnnn. 


Sunday, December 8, 2019

Things I Regret

White Petaled Flowers

Bismillah. Assalamualaikum. Hello! Masha Allah. It took me forever to update this. It's already the end of the year: 2019 but hey... what's up? It's my first entry. LMFAO.

Well-well-well.. Short but not too short, I am a housewife now. Still menjahit, tapi my own baju. Might start to take an order, while I still can.. I guess??

And I realized now when I am who I am at this moment, I no longer felt like I want or I need to update my social medias, to let my friends know what I am doing. Is that normal? For who has marriage life? Or it is just me, who felt that way? 

When I felt like I want to upload a photo or at least to make an insta-story or facebook-story, it just feel like I am wasting my time.. Seriously, is that normal, guys?

Well. I don't know.. At this moment, I get to update my entry beacuse of my husband is not around so I can use his PC. Hahaha. (love you, sayang, come back hurry!)..

So rather than start writing an entry, I edited the codes in my blog and turned Blog Eyja from white background to black background. Hahahahaha. Dan sekarang aku dah sakit pinggang sebab duduk terlalu lama kat kerusi!!! Padan muka. (I'll sleep till evening pasni)

And I didn't even cooked for myself. Lantak kau lapaq satgih Ja!! But I boiled corns at this morning so I believed that fruits gave me a lil bit of calories (I am not even sweating, so don't need too much calories for today)

And I am listening to Selena Gomez not quite new songs: Can't Get Enough right now. And wait, now it's Taylor Swift - 22. Yeap. At this moment, yes. It's Taylor Swift.

Well, above all are not the point. The point is, I just wanted to share my old and lame kenduri kahwin photos. Just to you know, (penuhkan entry) hahaha. So here we go.

 So, this is A: the love of my life. My bestest friend I ever have. I wrote in my last entry before this that I had no best girlfriend. Guess what? I need a husband. And my life was completely complete! We have been married for a  year and a half now, and we both loving and knowing each other every single day. (cliche but that happened in marriage). Yeah. That's a bit of my kenduri photos that I think this can be a new start for me to you know.. Be more open about my beautiful and amazing life. So that (takyah kau perasan sangat orang lain nak ambik tahu pasal life kau) Hahahaha
So last but not least. Don't judge a person who shares his/her life in facebook or instagram. Because we didn't how hard they've been through or how struggled they life just to be succeed or anything. Just be happy and like their post or if you don't like, just scroll down you freaking timeline or just unfollow them. Don't hurt others feeling. You will never know when is the time that you might scratch others feeling dan berdosa okay??? Buat orang sakit hati... Be happy or remain silent. That's better. (rasa cam ahli falsafah or ahli psikologi plak aku) Well.. Till then guys.


P/S: Thank you so so so much to whoever read this entry (cause I know my blog hasn't been updated time-to-time). Thank you so so so so sooo much. <3

Wednesday, December 4, 2019

End of 2019... and It's My 1st Entry of The Year.

© Reedit by Eyja Azman for Blog Eyja Dot Blogspot Dot Com. Design by FCD.